Experiences are like books. They teach you and grow you in ways that sometimes you don't realize until much later.
I live in Bristol, England where I run a company for men with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Late last year, I found myself consumed with expanding my business to support more men. I dedicated much less time to friends or meeting new people (but that's what young entrepreneurs do, right?). I began getting tunnel vision which increased my business productivity, but left much of the world around me out of my sightline.
I'm a man and I know we're not renowned for our multi-tasking, but I do try, I promise. During this intense period to grow my business, I was doing the right thing: denying myself a personal life, turning down invitations to social gatherings and learning how to say "no" to people who wanted my free time.
I'm usually a consistent church attendee, but while I was in "work work work work work" mode, to quote the literary genius that is Rihanna, I made less frequent visits. Now, my church is extremely loving, caring and progressive. Me not attending regularly is not a "thing," but it’s something I noticed for myself.
As the New Year came in, I resurfaced from my hiatus and came up for air. One of the first things on my to-do list was to catch up with my pastor. My world was rocked. Midway into my conversation, he told me that a fellow church member killed himself. I was in complete shock. He was such a jovial guy.
The irony - I was working so hard to support men who struggled with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts and all the while someone I knew was going through his own hell.
So what's the moral of this story? No, it’s not to blame yourself for other people's actions or dwell on the past. It’s to always remember that there are other people and things in this life besides YOU and what YOU'RE doing. Make time for people and do good to others even if they can't help you in your personal endeavors. Actually, especially if they can’t help you in your personal endeavors.
I found out first hand that in the University of Life, experience really is the best teacher.
Written By: Daniel Edmund, Founder of Milk for Tea